Thursday, February 8, 2007

Kai's Frustration (and mine)

This morning, I was the parent helper in Kai's preschool class. He goes every Tuesday & Thursday from 9:15am until 11:15am. Abi went last year to this same school and the same teacher, but Kai's is for 3 & 4 year olds. (well, there are two 5 year olds, but they are ESL students, so this is a pre-K for them) Funny, I felt more excited and happy about Abi going last year than I do about Kai going. I'm not too sure if that's because she was the firstborn, so it's all new, whereas with Kai I've BTDT. Or is it something else? I admit, I do have my worries with Kai. I wonder if this is a good idea, if him going to preschool is really benefiting him (despite everyone saying it is), and if he's really well behaved and ready for a school-type setting. I guess that doesn't help!

I was talking with Teacher Michelle about about Kai and how he's doing. (I love this lady! She's so kind and sweet and has taught me some good things on being patient and how to speak so children will listen! Who knew I'd learn something at preschool? LOL! I'm also blessed that we've become friends too) Upon observation, I was wondering if he's a *bit* pushy or not. He has a tendancy to get upset easily and push the other kids. :{ I wanted some reassurance that he's doing fine and it's "normal", because Kai IS a wonderful boy. He is nice and kind and can play well. Sure, there are times when I must separate him and his sister (lol) but he's really good at saying he's sorry and giving hugs (lol). I just want to be sure, you know? :{ Michelle was saying that Kai's speech is getting much better, he's really using sounds that are close to a proper word (yay) but his problems lie in his frustration… the kids don't understand him, he can't communicate well, it's natural for the kids to get physical when they don't get their way! In other words, yes, Kai has some issues, however, they are normal…or normal enough, considering the poor boy doesn't speak! That made me feel a *bit* better, but it's so sad.

I watch Kai and I see this beautiful boy. So vibrant. Full of energy. Such a BOY!!! He can run around and has a wonderful imagination and a capturing smile. He likes to push himself and the boundaries and so I often have to scold him or repeat things, but when he listens, and he rushes over to slam me with a hug (and that's how he does it…runs full speed right into me like a train!), he melts my heart. I want to hold him all the time. I look at him and I wish I could do something for him and his frustration. It must be like being in a foreign country where you don't know the language. You can speak yours, and you can understand theirs to some degree, but you can't speak it back. And that's Kai. We're trying to teach him OUR language, while trying to decifer his. It's been three years and we're just starting to make some small breakthroughs, but it is tiring and it hurts my heart for my boy.

In Novemeber, Kai had his 36 Month (3 years) Assessment done by Michele from IDP (infant development program, who has been with him since he was maybe 18ms, I can't recall) It was so hard to sit through the "exam"… I had to bite my lips from explaining and coaxing the proper answer from him! But he did well… or well enough. He responded much to what we expected; he's great with many things, but anytime she asked him a question that had to be answered verbally, he'd jump up and exclaim "oh!" and run out of the room like he just remembered something! (rolleyes) He'd return within a minute, sometimes with some toy to show us, sometimes in hopes we'd forgotten what we asked him! lol

As circumstances were (such as our crazy snow in December!!!) we weren't able to get together again to go over the results until about two weeks ago. Of course, since then, he's gained a ton of words, so some of what she was reporting weren't relevant anymore. But she did say he's at an 18-month old's Speech level. That's disheartening. But not shocking. He babbles a lot…mostly to himself though. If you say something, he just gets angry at you as if you interrupted a private conversation, lol!

*sigh*

I really do forget that he's Three. For one, he doesn't have the speech anywhere near a 3 year old. Secondly, he's so small so he doesn't necessarily look like one either! Teacher Michelle was saying how she forgets he's the same age and has to remind herself that she has to treat him like the other children, such as with discipline. I don't know how she does it. She seems so… okay about it all. In fact, every one does! Meanwhile, my heart is breaking! I want to understand my three year old boy! I want everyone else to as well! I want him to be able to play and make friends! I want him to be less frustrated!

I know, I know, here I am lamenting about things that aren't THAT big of a deal. He is doing well in school, and he's gaining so much in speech, it's true. But I'm so impatient for it to all catch up! I was watching him the other day, and seeing him as a 3 year old and being in awe of his Boyness, and wondering just what it will be like to hear him speak clearly. What a day that will be! The funny thing is that once he starts, he'll take off and this whole thing will be a misty memory! But until then, this whole frustraion, is Kai's and mine. :{

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