Tuesday, July 7, 2009

struggling

Have you ever been so fatigued that you can't breathe? Or so tired your stomach is in turmoil? Or so exhausted your mind swirls in dizziness? Or so drained that your body feels weak? Or so tired that you sit on the floor and start to cry --even though you don't know why?

This is what I deal with. This is the depth my exhaustion has hit for the past 3 days. This is what I'm trying to get a doctor to see, my family to see, my friends to see. Something is WRONG.

I can't see straight. I can't concentrate on simple tasks like finishing sentances. I can't focus.

And the worst part? I can't even sleep. It took all I could do to stay alert yesterday and to keep myself busy despite the dizziness, breathlessness and achiness. Yet when bedtime finally rolled around for me and I gladly lay in bed, I couldn't fall asleep.

Why does no one understand?

I just want it to be over. If this is Truely what my life is about....

This constant fatigue is going to kill me.

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