add another one to the Confused list

You can add my name to the list of the Confused regarding H1N1. Is it an pandemic? Isn't that what WHO finally had to consider it this past summer? (I'm not too sure what the difference between an epidemic and a pandemic are) Isn't it more dangerous than the regular flu? Don't people die from it? So why is this so confusing??? It shouldn't be. Right? I mean, when you look at all the stories out there, shouldn't it be an easy cut-and-dry decision to make? Yet, here I am not sure at all!

When the vaccine first came out (just this past week to Canada) I was thinking there was No Way I was getting it! We don't know what it's made from! It hasn't been out long enough to test! What are the side effects? What could happen to us in 10 years? 15 years? 20? Do we really want to jump into this?

But then I thought about it and I weighed the options and the information out there, and I thought that it really comes down to Trust. Yeah, something as "simple" as that. Do I trust Health Canada? Do I trust WHO? Both say this vaccine is necessary, and healthy and safe. If I can't trust my own country's health committee, then who do I trust? I certainly am not one to just think that there is some type of conspiracy out there and that these 'big companies' are just out to make money---yes, they are a company, and yes, companies are supposed to make money...but at the expense of human lives? Seriously?

So I decided that I could trust this vaccine.

But do I get it? I can trust it...but enough to actually think I NEED it? Maybe my kids do, but...really?

But then Abi started to feel sick. Sore throat. Fever. Just not feeling well, not sleeping. She stayed home from school on Friday and it was so hard for me not to think paranoid thoughts! It's all good and fine to debate this vaccine. It's good to share information. It's good to discuss thoughts and fears and show what truth is out there. But the whole thing gets a BIT too much, you know? And I'm one of the many Canadians who just don't know WHERE they stand on it.

1. I am scared to Death of my children catching this flu. I'm terrified that they will get so sick, be hospitalized and die. I look at any of them and think, No Way can I allow that. Kai has a heart condition. He and Abi have asthma. Rhys is still just a Baby. It's all too much to consider something happening to them.
So. There. That means I should get the vaccine. Right?

2. I have a few friends/aquaintances that have gotten this flu. Two were so mild that it was barely a blip. Yes, they had the Dreaded Swine Flu. They felt yucky, stayed in bed for a few days, were quarantined at home a couple of days, but got over it and are all back to normal.
So. Then it's NOT that bad??? Maybe we don't need the vaccine after all.

Then I have two friends who's children are still fighting the after effects of it. One friend's 1 1/2 year old still isn't quite "herself", and it's been a month since she had it! One friend's daughter became the First Pediatric Critical Care Patient to Survive H1N1 in New Mexico! (ask your dr if s/he's heard of Haleigh; her story is going around!) She was intubated and one life support for a while and her parents didn't know if she'd survive. Just remembering it stalls my breath and breaks my heart. It's been over a month for her and she has some serious issues to deal with, including sensory disorder, memory disorder...to name a few. (the list is long) She's 9. Will she fully recover? Is her story not the norm, one of those 1-in-a-million type things? Do I want to chance it with my kids?
So. Then I SHOULD get it for the kids.

But then there is that old issue haunting me....we don't know what could happen from it. *sigh* It doesn't help that there are all these email scams and junk filling my In Folder and my mind... cut up onions? that'll stop the outbreak? really? if only it were that easy! Wow, where was the WHO on THAT discovery? What? this vaccine is the same as the 1976 outbreak one that gave everyone Gullian-Barre??? Oh great.

So what's a person to do? I think I'm leaning towards getting the vaccine...but is it due from Real Fear or fear drummed up by the media? After all, this is Major news. Conspirists would believe that the media (or, really, the Government) is just making this a big deal to cover up other things. (don't even get me started on that one) I mean, if there weren't as much to talk about with this, would I get it done? Well, not likely. But...and here's a Big BUTT *lol*.... if it "wasn't that big of a deal" then why would they even want us to get the vaccine? Which brings us back to a conspiracy. So then you've got to ask yourself if you believe the government is trying to mass vaccinate us all and what is this so-called vaccination Really for? If we're not going to believe the H1N1 is Real and Dangerous or even an Epidemic, then what's the whole deal about? They're giving us a placebo vaccine? Yeah, because that makes sense! Let's spend MILLIONS (if not billions, I'm not too Up on the cost of producing medicines anymore) to come up with a fake vaccine...just to make the people feel "good." Yeah, because that's worked. Look at how happy everyone is! *roll eyes*

So, I guess we can rule out the conspiracy thing. And possibly the media thing. Yes, there is a LOT of news about this silly flu. So much so that people have made up fun names for it. No longer called the Swine Flu, it was dubbed H1N1. But that's just not fun to say, so I've been calling it High-nee! (thanks to my BIL for that one) I've found a whole list of other names for it online though that gave me the giggles:

Hamthrax (my personal favourite)

Bacon Flu

The Baconic Plague

Smallporx

The Porking Disease

Baconsumption

Hamageddon

Swinetanic.

The Measqueals

But what is it that makes us want to blame the "media" for their mass reporting? I guess it gets a bit "overdone" and all that...I mean, who wants to hear of lineups for the vaccine everyday? and how they don't have enough of it? I guess it gets a bit old. But then there are the news stories that hit me the most: death.

A otherwise healthy (according to his parents, and well, the media) 13 year old boy died last weekend in Toronto. This effected me the most. He was fine beforehand, but then got sick. Went to the clinic, where they said he just had the flu, give him OTC stuff. The next day, his fever breaks, he's doing better, yahoo! He goes to have a bath, and this is where I get lost, but in the end, he goes limp, the ambulance is called, and they try for 2 hours to revive him to no avail. Turns out he had H1N1.

See, a lot of people don't want to get the shot, and they defend it by saying that they aren't in the "high risk" category, which is fine. I mean, many people I know (myself included) don't get the regular flu shot as it is! And even the media is saying that right now, only the pregnant and High Risk can get the vaccine. Which is great and all...but am I the only one noticing this? Aren't the HEALTHY ones dying??? Sure, there are a few people who have died from this who had preexisting complications (elderly, etc) but it's the ones who had no signs to begin with that frighten me.

The question comes down to: do I want to risk it or not? It's a game of Russian Roulette. And it's a scary one. Will I get this flu? I don't know. It's out there. I have kids going to school, I attend church, I go to the grocery store...it can be anywhere, right? If I do get it, will it be bad? There seem to be mild and severe cases. I don't want to sound like a paranoid person, but you've got to wonder which group you'll fall under. And seeing as there doesn't seem to be a particular path, I'd say any of us could get it bad.

As for those mysterious side effects (some who say there aren't anymore than the regular flu shot and some say it's worse than getting the illness itself)...do I risk it or not? If I get some strange disease after this vaccine years from now, what will I feel? Will I feel it outweighs the dangers of having this H1N1?

*sigh*

I'm still not too sure. I just want to know...how BAD is this flu virus? I mean. Really? Yes, it could kill. But it could also just make me feel more yucky than normal. I know that you can get Tamiflu (an antivirus perscription drug) to treat the virus...if it's that simple that this medication will help, then seriously, I ask again: How bad is it? If that's all there is to it, then why bother? Do I really want to drag 4 children down to the clinic to get this done?

And then there is this whole thing of the availability of the vaccine. If it's such a BIG DEAL...why has it taken Health Canada so long to get it out there? Why are there so few available? We have lineups and people waiting 7 hours just to be turned away! It's ridiculous! Why do the health care professionals have to wait until NEXT week to have their shot when they're working with those who are ill with it? That makes no sense! If this is such an epidemic, why is it taking so long to be available? These deaths could've been prevented if this vaccine was here a month ago! Or am I missing something? Did it take this long to get out because they WERE testing it after all? They don't want to give shoddy medicine that isn't going to help or be safe. I like to think that, at least.

I need to know just the basics of it. But, to be honest, when it comes to my children, I don't see how I can play chance. My son has a heart condition. If he catches this..... I don't know. And if I'm getting him, doesn't it make sense to get them all? And if they're getting it, it makes sense that I do too, right? Right?

Feel free to add your thoughts and opinions as a comment. I really do love hearing and debating. But, please, let me point out something...if all you say that you "just feel this way" and have no other info to back it up, you're not really helping anyone, especially not yourself! I don't think this is something you can get away with being placid about.
I will add any other info that I find useful as it comes...

Here is Health Canada's website: http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/index-eng.php

PS> Abi is fine. Even when she was warm, she was still completely herself. I'm thinking it was just seasonal stuff mixed with too many late nights.